Friday, December 28, 2012

Tommy Picks 20 Things to Get Over for 2013

The epitome of what to get over for 2013. And yes, this
picture is recent.
With the new year rapidly approaching and everybody deluding themselves into thinking they'll actually make some kind of major change to their lives, I think it's time to establish what we all need to just be over by the time 2013 is here. I've compiled a list of such things.
  1.  Gangnam Style. Not sure why this was ever a thing, but let's just chalk it up to one of the several mistakes humanity blindly committed in 2012.
  2. Taylor Swift. And whoever she's dating.
  3. Yolo. If I hear it again, your one life won't last for much longer.
  4. Your ex. Holy shit, I don't want to hear it anymore.
  5. The world ending. I'm not putting up with this "Oh, now the world is gonna end in 2015" bullshit! The world didn't end. We're all still here. Hooray. Now shut the fuck up already!
  6. Fifty Shades of Grey. Totally over it. Was never into it.
  7. Rihanna. She'll likely release 3 new albums and countless singles this next year. Let's not give her any more #1s, okay? Similarly, she and Chris Brown will probably break-up and make-up 14 times. Let's not care, okay?
  8. Pinterest. Face it, you're not as healthy, skinny, active, interesting, fashionable, funny, or unique as you think you are.
  9. Vampires. With the Twilight saga finally behind us, let's finally abolish vampires from pop culture and end this morbid and nonsensical obsession with bloodsuckers once and for all. (Note: This does not apply to True Blood. That will forever be the only exception.)
  10. Lindsay Lohan. Personal note to Lilo: Let's try not to get arrested this year.
  11. "Call Me Maybe". It's not funny anymore.
  12. Emma Watson. What the fuck, you guys. She's not that great.
  13. Channing Tatum. For the same reasons as #12.
  14. Honey Boo Boo. Remember when reality television was dominated by the Kardashians and a band of pregnant teenagers (sometimes, it was hard to tell the difference between the two.) Let's bring that back!
  15. Miley Cyrus' hair. She's just being Miley!
  16. Celebrity sex tapes. Unless this is one featuring Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, no one cares.
  17. "Jennifer Aniston's pregnant with Brad's triplets! Shocking details of the affair and her marriage to Justin to cover it up! Plus, what Courteney Cox has to say about it!" No.
  18. Obama's nationality.
  19. Singing competition shows. Unless Britney is a judge.
  20. The Royal Family.
So there you have it. This year, don't make your New Year's resolution some diet or personal growth you can't possibly achieve; rather, vow to get over everything on this list. Then maybe, just maybe, there will peace on Earth at last.

2 comments:

Madeleine Wills said...

I agree! One minor exception: Emma Watson - I like her!

Taylor Tanton said...

Vampires? Really! I still personally believe I have the power to bring back vampires! But Amen to everything else especially Gangnam style! You are so right on! You need to write your own Bible!