Friday, March 29, 2013

Bitch of the Week: Regina George, the Alpha Bitch

The Bitch that started it all.

Regina George. Does this even require an explanation? The Bitch of the Week is Regina George. And you should just fucking understand what that means because Regina George is the epitome of the Bitch of the Week. But I'll go on, because no breath should be spared when it comes to celebrating a bitch.

In the world of Mean Girls, the Plastics reign supreme. And as the plastic pack master, Regina is la crème de la fucking crème of bitches. Her skills are boundless. From three-way phone calls to making her parents trade rooms with her, there's nothing Regina cannot do. Of course, her most notable triumph is the burn book and its subsequent distribution throughout school. Seriously, making the entire junior class think that they were talking mad shit about each other? #brava

As with many Mean Girls characters, Regina is full of the greatest one-liners, only hers are dripping in bitchery. Read and learn.
  • "So you agree? You think you're really pretty?"
  • "Get in, loser. We're going shopping." 
  • "I love her. She's like a Martian."
  • "I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend. So just promise me you won't make fun of her."
  • "I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a lesbian."
  • "Because that vest was disgusting!"
  • "I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. God, Karen! You're so stupid."
  • "Boo, you whore!"
  • "Who does she think she is? I like invented her, you know what I mean?"
Clearly, bitchery comes to Regina as easily as breathing. Sure, she has her Achilles heal. I mean, it was way too easy for Cady to trick her into gaining weight. But then she survived being hit by a fucking bus. It goes to show you that you can knock a bitch down, but you can't keep her down. She's a bitchy as the best of 'em, and it's only appropriate that she enjoy her reign as the current Bitch of the Week.


Taylor Tanton said...

I haven't seen this movie nearly enough.

Anonymous said...

"there's good and bad to everybody, she's just more up-front about it."

Crystal skull said...

"Stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not gonna happen!"