Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Cunt of the Week: Kendall & Kylie Jenner

The poor man's Kardashians.
In 2007, something beautiful happened. Pseudo-celebrity Kim Kardashian's sex tape leaked, and just like that, Paris Hilton's camera-ready bestie became a star in her own right. It didn't take long for the E! Network to exploit that shit with Keeping Up with the Kardashians, which made Kim and her family mega-famous almost overnight. For the most part, this was a good thing. America was introduced to the monotonous and uncaring Kourtney, the loud and crude Khloé, and the controlling and mentally unstable Kris. However, with the good comes the bad, and we were also subjected to this weeks cunts, Kendall and Kylie Jenner.

At first, it wasn't that bad, because they were both under the age of 13 and kept in the background (save for a really disturbing episode when they attempted to re-enact Girls Gone Wild). But damn, as soon as those brats hit their teens, all fucking hell broke loose. Sometimes, Kylie would wear too much make-up, which would make Papa Bruce angry. Other times, Kendall would secretly get a dog, which would also infuriate Bruce. They both started having delusions of grandeur and started acting like they were the stars of the show. With every new season of the Kardashians would come a declaration from the half-wits that they would be getting more screen time.

And more screen time they got. Whether it was Kylie running away from home or Kendall casually jetting off to Las Vegas without her parents' knowledge to get a tattoo on the eve of her sixteenth birthday, it became damn near impossible to watch an episode of the show without these cunts fucking shit up. I'm sorry, but when I'm watching a show called Keeping Up with the KARDASHIANS, I except to be kept up with the KARDASHIANS, not two tweens who have deluded themselves into thinking they're an integral part of the show. What's worse is that the girls are professional models and, as was the case for The Hunger Games premiere, occasional reporters. They think they're full-blown celebrities. Ever checked out their instragrams? They post selfies like every 11 seconds. You don't even have to follow them to see their photos, because they frequently hack into their siblings' accounts and post additional selfies from there. It's a great time.

While the girls spend their time bitching and raiding their older sisters' closets, the sad truth is that they are sort of Kardashians, meaning they are somewhat immune from this title. Even still, I know that when any of us tune in to reality TV's royal family and we're forced to endure Kendall and Kylie, we'll be thinking, God, what cunts!

3 comments:

Taylor Tanton said...

A kardashian on this list? Who would have guessed?!

MKlass said...

Poor Bruce, that's all I have to say.

Jim Sonic said...

You speak the truth. Im not sure whats worse, the Kardashian arrogance, or their willingness to shove their tits in front of any and every camera, in order to avoid having to actually work for a living. The part that gets me is that these pigs wanted attention, and now that theyre getting it, all they do is cry about it. Altho, i have to admit, id like to sodomize the one Jenner girl.(i think its kendall) Chris, i wouldnt even let her blow me.