Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Cunt of the Week: Shannen Doherty

You can take the girl out of Beverly Hills... And then you realize she
shouldn't have ever been there in the first place.
As Jennie Garth was Tommy Time's first ever Bitch of the Week, it seems only appropriate that I give her ultimate foe, Shannen Doherty, Cunt of the Week. And oh is ShanDo a cunt. Her first major act of cuntitude is her name. An E and no O's? Mm. But it wasn't until the 1990s, when she was cast as Brenda Walsh in Beverly Hills, 90210, that the name Shannen Doherty became a household synonym with "major cunt-ass bitch." (Imagine the fun you could have by telling someone you hate that he/she is such a Shannen Doherty, and they would have no idea what you were talking about!)

Shannen's time as Brenda Walsh, who was a cunt in her own right, lasted only four seasons. By this time, everybody was sick and tired of her bullshit. Her inflated ego took a blow when the Walsh-centric drama was revamped into an ensemble teen drama and she was forced to share the spotlight with the supporting cast. She didn't hold back when it came to expressing her dissatisfaction.

The increased focus on the ensemble cast strained Shannen's already-tumultuous relationships with her co-stars, particularly Jennie. The girls' feud was notorious, and according to Tori Spelling, they frequently fought over wardrobe and even got into a fist fight once. Think Jennie's just as much to blame? She's not. Shannen was also known to argue with Gabrielle Carteris and break into Jason Priestley's dressing room. On one occasion, she allegedly crashed a car on set and blamed it on Ian Ziering. Even her on-screen boyfriend Luke Perry allegedly requested to work with Shannen as little as possible. Shannen had shown her true cunting colors and everybody hated her, as they should. So after she rebelliously cut her hair mid-episode, thus throwing off continuity, nobody spoke up when Aaron Spelling decided to fire her.

All of this was in ADDITION to Shannen's other monumental personal problems, including frequent and fleeting engagements, a secret and bizarre last-minute marriage, bar fights, evictions, a lawsuit for bouncing over 70 checks, and accusations from a former fiancé that the actress held him at gunpoint and threatened to hire men to sodomize him in her front yard.

Shannen was universally hated, on and off-screen, and her career took a hit. In quite possibly his biggest regret, however, Aaron Spelling gave her a second chance and cast the troubled cunt in his supernatural series Charmed. But it seems like Shannen didn't learn her lesson, because she began duking it out with co-star Alyssa Milano right off the bat. In 2001, after three seasons of on-set drama, Alyssa reportedly threatened to quit unless Shannen was fired. Guess who came out the victor of that ultimatum? That's right: Alyssa. Once again, Shannen was packing her proverbial bags and was on her way out of another Spelling Production.

Since then, Shannen seems to have cleaned up her act. She has admitted to being a pain to work with, and for instigating most of the on-set tension with her co-stars. Still, her career is practically non-existent. While she reprised her role as Brenda Walsh for a season of the new 90210 fourteen years after getting fired from the original show, she's basically been reduced to a part-time reality star who makes television movies called Gretly: The Witch Hunter. So, just let that sink in.

No matter what she does now, ShanDo will never be able to undo over a decade's worth of cuntitude. If there's a lesson to be learned in all of this, it's that you should never go up against Jennie Garth. You will lose and your life will be ruined.

12 comments:

Taylor Tanton said...

Charmed was better without her anyhow!

MKlass said...

Oooh, I hope a certain someone doesn't see this!

Anonymous said...

So funny, and so true

Anonymous said...

charmed was way better wit her!!

Anonymous said...

While I don't think anyone can successfully argue that she isn't a psycho-bitch cunt of the highest order, people never give her the credit she deserves for having an unbelievably mind-blowing rack. And isn't that what really matters?

Anonymous said...

Shannon Doherty is the CUNT bitch ass of the world and a husband stealing loser. I heard her ass stinks and she has shit problems on set.

Anonymous said...

Shannon as just pathetic, she is a bich!.she held someone at gun point for christ sake!.and I love alyssa milano I can't belive she targeterd her. I also heard she picked a fight with the producers of charmed because she was'nt in the middle in every photo with co stars alyssa and holly!
What a bich!

Anonymous said...

The verified stink ass Shannon is a bitchass not a badass her acting is as hideous as her existence! The London trips (STD) picked a real loser once again and cant wait till the divorce drama unfolds in time.

Cheers bitch with an itch!

Unknown said...

I love her face , her tits and her ass, but her heart is ugly . she needs help from a therapist and she needs to be put in a mental hospital.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget, she refused to allow her likeness to be used in the Charmed comic books because they wouldn't pay her enough.

Anonymous said...

This entire blog is a disgrace. Disabled toilet.

Anonymous said...

She deserves everything she gets. Ironic isnt it