Tuesday, April 2, 2013

C U Next Tuesday: When Cunts Strike Again, the Amanda Bynes Edition

For what it's worth, her new look got the Kim
Kardashian stamp of approval.

Back in November, Amanda Bynes received Cunt of the Week for her arrest, bizarre public behavior, and near-weekly automobile accidents. While she was certainly deserving of the title at the time, I wonder if it was perhaps premature, as Mandy has gone even more cray in the months since.

Not only has Amanda gotten herself a ghetto fab makeover (see above), she has been tweeting up the wazoo and each tweet is more curious than the last. And, in an unexpected turn of events, she's been tweeting straight up cray shit for years now. So, in the spirit of keeping up with the cunts, I'm sharing with you the Best of Amanda Bynes' Tweets. There's a lot of them, but they're quick, so I encourage you to read them all. From asking Drake to murder her vagina to discussing creepers and hair capes, these are fucking hilarious. Enjoy!
  • Looking pudgy and I broke my nail #GirlProblems
  • I want @drake to murder my vagina
  • If I'm not following you on twitter, I hate you
  • I created the phrase lly & lololol. *proud*
  • I like when Drake says "Everything is Kosher" in his new song OVER because A. That's a clever way of saying everything is good B. Judaism
  • Only read my twitter for photos of me!
  • Please don't take paparazzi photos of me I like taking my own!
  • Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.
  • He's Rocking That Incest Face
  • When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.
  • I like black men I'm very attracted to them just fyi
  • FYI if any girls are mad that I like "chocolate" they need to seriously get OVER it. sorry, you can't have all the chocolate for yourself :)
  • SO quit hating on me because i'm VANILLA and i like CHOCOLATE, ok? because it just makes you look like a hater :) thanks so much, bye!!!! :)
  • i like my hair cape wavy or straight it just can't be dull #period  
  • hair cape = hip way of referring to your hair
  • Let's talk about hair capes and different ways you can show someone you like their hair cape
  • "well wow your hair cape sure shines now doesn't it"
  • "you sure did a good job styling that hair cape"
  • Ok that's enough about hair capes for now
  • "if you like it so much why don't u marry it?" - childhood saying
  • i want a husband
  • i wanna be a wife
  • I have a 1 track mind
  • I've got marriage on my mind :)
  • creepers have twisted minds they full on disgust me BARF BAG CITY is where they should move to
  • Get your minds out of the gutter creepers and quick move to barf bag city I bet you'll love it there being that you are nasty and disgusting
  • and creepers, most importantly, do not forget to STFU
  • creepers know who they are
  • creepers disgust me
  • someone with a perverted mind is a creeper in my book
  • Creepers should stfu
  • I stay away from creepers
  • When I find out someone has a nasty twisted mind I refer to them as a creeper = someone that has a nasty twisted mind
  • Legitimate newspapers and magazines etc only print the truth and that's why I read them
  • Hey @BarackObama... I don't drink. Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don't hit and run. The end.
  • I think jeans look good on everyone they are just plain sexy to me
  • those are my thoughts on jeans
  • I enjoy reading and writing love quotes
  • If you don't motivate me and you seem cruel I'll unfollow you
  • if I think you could possibly be a creeper I'll unfollow you
  • If you're unfunny enough I'll unfollow you
  • my family calls me chicky but everybody else calls me amanda which I like
  • I am so sure of myself it will scare you
  • I like being called chicky too
  • Are you a person place or thing chances are if you're reading this you're a person think about that everyone :)
  • I've never written the movies & tv shows I've been apart of I've only acted like the characters the producers or directors wanted me to play
  • Being an actress isn't as fun as it may seem
  • If I don't love something anymore I stop doing it
  • I don't love acting anymore so I've stopped doing it
  • I know 24 is a young age to retire but you heard it here first I've #retired
  • i've unretired
  • OG = original girl
  • BF = boyfriend
  • GF = girlfriend
  • my favorite artist =  my favorite musician
  • super boo = your one true love
  • tats = tattoos
  • book = something you can read (if you don't know that there is no hope for you)
  • For future reference: illolrnaifg = I'm literally laughing out loud right now and it feels great
  • film = movie
  • scrumptious = delicious
  • lol = laugh out loud
  • sick = cool
  • dope = cool
  • ill = cool
  • brb = be right back
  • fyi = for your information
  • btw = by the way
  • stfu = shut the fuck up
  • Herstory
  • #earthy
  • If the fact that I twitter random words I like bothers you then I won't like you
  • #fronter
  • my movies and tv shows are on DVD aka Blu-ray Disc watch them they're really good
  • Shout out to all the #divas we're amazing and should be treated like princess every day if you ask me
  • #cuddle
  • I'll have you know, I am hilarious

Amanda's Hairspray co-star Nikki Blonsky recently tweeted the actress: "Hey girl I texted you hit be back live u boo boo!!! Xoxo" and Amanda responded with:
  • If I'm not following you on twitter Quit acting like you know me.
  • When you write me on twitter and I ignore you it's because I plan on ignoring you on twitter and in life forever.

You certainly are hilarious, Mandy. Or should I say Chicky? Whatever your name is, just keep tweeting, girl!


Taylor Tanton said...

This made this horrible week so much better!

Madeleine Wills said...

OMG. First of all, that makeover is ridiculous. Did she actually pierce her cheek? Secondly, "barf bag city" is a great phrase, and imma start incorporating it into my vocabulary, along with "illolmaifg," which also describes my current state of being.

P.S. "Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil." Um, what?

Tiffy_ J said...

Rofl=roll on the floor laughing, which I am doing right now. Omg.