Friday, May 10, 2013

Bitch of the Week: Daisy Duck

Doin' it with sass cuz she's got a big ass.
In a world where animated cunts like Minnie Mouse reign supreme, it's important to celebrate the bitches who keep them in check. The current Bitch of the Week is Daisy Duck, the tragically underrated lady friend of Donald Duck. Sassy, loud, and self-absorbed, Daisy has all the makings of a textbook BoW.

Daisy always makes a grand entrance.
Originally introduced as Donna Duck in 1937, Daisy has been bitching it up with the best of them for decades. Whether she's fighting with Donald, annoying Minnie for her own amusement, or being too vain to comprehend the world around her, Daisy has bitchery down to a fine science. And it's a skill that has proven incredibly useful, as girlfriend has been marginalized time and time again.

You see, in the Disney world, there's this thing called the Fab Five. It's a collective title for the classic characters: Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy, and Pluto. You may be asking yourself, Where's Daisy? That's a good fucking question because I have no idea. The simple truth is the party doesn't start until Daisy rolls in, so that fact that this so-called "Fab" Five thinks it can just ignore her is completely preposterous.

"Oh hey, Daisy! Just having fun without you. Fuck you!"
The most logical explanation for it all is that Daisy is simply too busy to hang around these clowns 24/7. Think about it: Donald's unchivalrous and temperamental demeanor must be exhausting, and being Minnie's best friend must take its toll as well, seeing as how Minnie is a self-centered, attention-seeking whore. In fact, Daisy is a saint for putting up with any of this bullshit at all! Still, she knows how to have a good time and not only add some color to the dull lives of her friends, but entertain millions around the world. I'll leave you with this, my absolutely favorite Daisy Duck cartoons (not as if there are a lot to choose from). Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy "Daisy's Road Trip".


Taylor Tanton said...

You are so quotable!

Taylor Tanton said...

Fave Part: "You may be asking yourself, Where's Daisy? That's a good fucking question because I have no idea.