Saturday, May 4, 2013

Where Are They Now?: Lalaine

Figure it out on the way.
Remember that one time Lizzie McGuire had a best friend? Remember how she was a total bitch because she developed overnight eating disorders, wore chop sticks in her hair, and totally cock blocked Lizzie and Gordo for three years? And remember how she randomly up and left because she had shit to do in Mexico City? (Or maybe it was New Mexico. Honestly, dgaf!)

Well, it seems like Miranda Sanchez disappeared just as randomly as her offscreen counterpart, Lalaine Vergara-Paras. (Who knew she had a last name?) But Tommy Time doesn't like to let Disney Channel flops slip through the cracks, so let's take a closer look as to where she's been lately. But to look at the present, one must first look at the past.

Where she's been
Lalaine decided from an early age that she was a prodigy, and like Madonna, Cher, and Prince, she figured she could get away with only using her first name. Her whole career consists of a whole lot of nothing except her aforementioned portrayal of middle school cunt Miranda Sanchez on Lizzie McGuire. However, when Lalaine got a little too big for her britches, Hilary Duff made sure that bitch was canned. Consequently, Lalaine missed the final six episodes of the series AND the movie, which tbh should have won at least seven Oscars, including Best Original Song for "What Dreams Are Made Of (Hey Now)" and Best Actress for Hilary Duff's Italian Accent as Isabella.

After that, good ole L had pretty much nothing to do. She attempted a singing career, but unless you count her rendition of "Cruella DeVil" as a thing, nothing really materialized from it. She filmed a pilot for a Lizzie McGuire spin-off called What's Stevie Thinking. Once again, Lalaine would have played the supporting role of Miranda while Selena Gomez was cast as her younger sister, Stevie. Luckily, that shit didn't pan out. Since then, all Lalaine has really done is get arrested for meth possession and play "Gossipy Girl" for a hot second in Easy A. And we all know that from that film, (1) Emma Stone came out the star and (2) Amanda Bynes emerged the hot mess. So where does that leave Lalaine?

Where she is now
I can only image that Lalaine currently spends her days writing and recording songs that she's sure will become instant #1's. Some titles have probably included, "(Hey Now, Hey Now) I'll Show You What Dreams Are Made Of, Bitch!", "Is That Hilary With One L or Two?", and "Where's MY Animated Counterpart?" In between coke binges and and unrequited sexual advances toward Kyle Massey and other Disney alumni, Lalaine stalks Hilary, hoping to slay her, wear her skin, and take on her role as mother, wife, and actress/singer/author/everythingunderthesun.

Every once in a while, she'll call Disney and leaves the same message:
Hey! It's Lalaine again. I think you accidentally deleted my last message. That's okay, though. I was just thinking about it, you know, just casually, and I think we could TOTALLY still do What's Stevie Thinking. Selena isn't too old for it, she can so still pass for 13. But if you're skeptical, we can just do What's Miranda Thinking! I think it was hard on the fans when she just disappeared without explanation. They deserve to know what she's up to.
And we don't even need Hilary! I mean, if you want to get her, we could, I guess. I'm totally open. But we could also just say Lizzie died in a fiery plane crash or Gordo murdered her and their unborn child. You know, maybe she got kidnapped by the Mexican drug cartel and they cut her body into little pieces and sold it on the black market. I'm just spitballing here. And maybe we could get Brad Pitt to play Miranda's husband. But, you know, whatever. Like I said, it was just a really casual random idea that popped into my head. But I think it could really go somewhere. So just let me know! Thanks guys!
Needless to say, that shit goes unanswered. Poor thing.

Let us see not view Lalaine as a tragedy, but rather a cautionary tale. Bella Thorne, take note! Disney stars should never use only their first name unless they EARN it (i.e. Raven), nor should they piss off Hilary Duff. The end.


Madeleine Wills said...

I LOVE this! and the Amanda Bynes references make it especially relevant!

Taylor Tanton said...

This is dark. Love it!

timothy merk said...

gotta admit, she might have hit the basement, but I believe a comeback is in the works, is Lalaine's agent still Beverly Strong, if not than her chance of livin it LiVe again looks pretty f... good

timothy merk said...

hey Tommy, good point, but i still believe in this LL girl, her elevator may of hit the basement, but i have a feeling that Lalaine, still has a chance of livin it LiVe as a major star, is beverly still her rep or is she with someone else, ready to help, when Miss Vergara-Paras is ready, Full Circle is here to help...


Indian College Girls Pissing Hidden Cam Video in College Hostel Toilets

Sexy Indian Slut Arpana Sucks And Fucks Some Cock Video

Indian 3D Girl Night Club Sex Party Group Sex

Desi Indian Couple Fuck in Hotel Full Hidden Cam Sex Scandal

Very Beautiful Desi School Girl Nude Image

Indian Boy Lucky Blowjob By Mature Aunty

Indian Porn Star Priya Anjali Rai Group Sex With Son & Son Friends

Drunks Desi Girl Raped By Bigger-man

Kolkata Bengali Bhabhi Juicy Boobs Share

Mallu Indian Bhabhi Big Boobs Fuck Video

Indian Mom & Daughter Forced Raped By RobberIndian College Girls Pissing Hidden Cam Video in College Hostel Toilets

Sexy Indian Slut Arpana Sucks And Fucks Some Cock Video

Indian Girl Night Club Sex Party Group Sex

Desi Indian Couple Fuck in Hotel Full Hidden Cam Sex Scandal

Very Beautiful Desi School Girl Nude Image

Indian Boy Lucky Blowjob By Mature Aunty

Indian Porn Star Priya Anjali Rai Group Sex With Son & Son Friends

Drunks Desi Girl Raped By Bigger-man

Kolkata Bengali Bhabhi Juicy Boobs Share

Mallu Indian Bhabhi Big Boobs Fuck Video

Indian Mom & Daughter Forced Raped By Robber

Sunny Leone Nude Wallpapers & Sex Video Download

Cute Japanese School Girl Punished Fuck By Teacher

South Indian Busty Porn-star Manali Ghosh Double Penetration Sex For Money

Tamil Mallu Housewife Bhabhi Big Dirty Ass Ready For Best Fuck

Bengali Actress Rituparna Sengupta Leaked Nude Photos

Grogeous Desi Pussy Want Big Dick For Great Sex

Desi Indian Aunty Ass Fuck By Devar

Desi College Girl Laila Fucked By Her Cousin

Indian Desi College Girl Homemade Sex Clip Leaked MMS

………… /´¯/)
……….,/¯../ /
………/…./ /
(‘(…´…´…. ¯_/’…’/
..\’…\………. _.•´

Tishma Sarkar said...

Desi Group Sex 3 Boys Fucking A Desi Girl With Audio Full Video Download & Watch Now

Nude Bhabhi Exposing And Ready To Fuck And Take Big Cock In Pussy And Ass Hole

Indian Gay Boys Hot kisses Showing Their Cocks,Awesome Sex Indian Engineering Hostel Fucking

Desi Mumbai Girl Having Sexual Relations With Her English Boyfriend

Sexy Irani Babe Getting Fucked With Boy Friend In Missionary Position Hidden cam Video

South Indian Babe kissing And Fingering Pussy And Puping Cock Mms Video

Big Booded Desi Student Having Sex With Her Guy,Indian Hot Couple Fucking Scene

Desi kolkata Village Girl Naked At Home Showing Black Pussy And Boobs

Indian SAADHU Forces An Innocent Lady To Fuck Her,usa sexy bikini woman sex

Indian Girl Have A Big black Dick In Her Blcak Tite Big Ass And Pussy

Desi Blood Fuking Sexy videos Hindi Talk,Tamil actress Rakshita showing Her Ass Nude

Hot desi Indian sexy Nude Girl Shows You Her Boobs Pressing Naked Images

Really cute Japanese Schoolgirl shows Her Hot Pink virgin Pussy And Stinky Anus

Indian Amateur Couple On Live Cam Show Sucking And Fucking,Very Hot Indian Bhabi Showing Boobs

Desi Indian Bhabhi In Tight Salwar Kameez And Showing Cleavage,Sana Khan Hot And Sexy Deep Navel Show

Sexy South Indian Aunty showing Her Deep cleavage And Pointed Boobs In A silk Blouse Exposing Her Hot Navel

Asian Sexy magi & Hot mal +18 sexy photo Hot Celebrity Most Beautiful Wallpapers

Anushka Hot and Sexy Spicy Latest Navel Showing Photos,Hot Spicy Actress Priymani Sexy Navel Show

Big sexy paki pussy Banged By Thick Long Cock In Doggy Style

Hot Indian Sexy Mom & Daughter Raped By Police,Telugu Actress Caught On Seducing

Indian Women Bathing Nude In Ganga Infront Of All In Public

Mallu Aunty Preetha Getting Her Boobs Pressed In kitchen After Removing Her Blouse And Bra

Sunny Leone Nice Nipples Hot Pussy and Big Boobs,Indian Sunny Leone Fuking hot Boobs Pussy Video

Desi Indian Aunty sneha Hardcore Fucked On Bed 12 Minute Long Sex Clip

Pakistani Hairy Pussy Aunty With Old Uncel Hot Fuck Seecion,Sherlyn Chopra Hot Sexy Photoshoot Stills

Hot desi Young Babe Fucking Her Chut And Gaand In Indian Dogy Style

Katrina Kaif Half Naked Showing Her Very Soft Cute Sexy Boobs And Cute Pink Nipples Ready For Being Fucked

Desi South Indian Housewife Gets Fucked In Doggy Style fuck By Her Husband

Anamika Sing said...

Parineeti Chopra Fucking Nude And Her Ass Riding Many Style

Aishwarya Rai Naked Enjoys Sex When Cock Riding On Ass And Pussy Pics

Hot desi indian busty wife ass fucked in dogy style

Sunny Leone Took Off Bikini Exposing Her Boobs And Fingering Pussy Fully Nude Images

Gopika Nude Showing Her Navel And Boobs Sitting Her Bed Picture

Horny Chinese couple sucking and fucking

Busty desi indian naked girl Secretary naked pics in office

Porn Star Sunny Leone Latest New Harcore Fucking Pictures

Pakistani College Girls Cute Shaved Pussy And Soft Big Boobs

Nude karisma kapoor Bollywood nude actress Wallpaper

Indian Girl Have A Big black Dick In Her Blcak Tite Big Ass And Pussy

Desi Indian Naughty Wife Oilly Pussy And Hot Young Ass Fuck

Bollywood film actress Ayesha Takia showing her Big White Boobs and Nipples

Busty Indian Call Girl Pussy Licked In 69 Position And Fucked MMS 2

Hot Indian Desi Sexy Teacher Tara Milky Boobs Round Ass Fucking

9th Class Teen Cute Pink Pussy Girl Having First Time Fucked By Her Private Teacher

Indian Actress Shruti Hassan Hardcore Fucked Nude Pictures

Shriya Saran Removing Clothes Nude Bathing Wet Boobs And Shaved Pussy Show

Sexy South Indian university girl nude big boobs and wet pussy

Hot Neha Dhupia Semi Nude Bathing And Showing Her Wet Bikini Photos

Horny Sexy Indian Slim Girl Gauri Shows You Her Small Boobs And Hairy Pussy

Bombay Huge Breasts Bhabhi Barna Nude posing And Sucking Cock After Fucking Hard

Cute Indian sexy desi teen showing her small boobs and hairy pussy

Anonymous said...

★★Japanese Wife Oral Fucked,Beautiful Asian Girl Big Boobs Sucking Big Penis,Indian Desi Girl Rape In School Bus★★

★★Indian Father Forced Ass Point Fuck Her 14 Years Vergin School Girl And Forced To Sucking Her Big Black Dick★★

★★Teen Age Muslim Girl Virgin Pussy,Cute Boobs And Sex With Her Grand Father Real Mobile Video★★

★★Lates Half Blouse And Sexy Bra With Sarre Sexy Pakistani College Girl,South Actrees In Bridal Sarre Photos Still Hot★★

★★Bengali Mother Sex With Her Step Son,Son Fucking Her Step Mother,Desi Lesibean Sex Scandal Real Porn Adult Movie And More★★

★★Number One Indian 18 Years Old Sexy College Girl Boobs Fucking,Malayalam Actrees Bhavana Hot Photos Gallery★★

★★Sexy Porn Star Indian Sunny Leon Fucking Images,Sunny Leone Latest Hot Topless Photo Shoot Without Cloth★★

★★Wonderfull Collection Of Irani Beautiful Girl Cute Boobs And Hot Sexy Pink Pussy Photos,Download Kajol Aggarwal Sexy Hd Photos In Saree★★

★★Hottest Actress Katrina Kaif's Boob Press In Party Shocking Real Picture,Katrina Kaif Real Sex Video With Salman Khan★★

★★Indonesian Yong College Teen Girl Posing Nude Showing Juicy Tits And Shaved Pussy Pics,Priyanka Chopra Hot Bedroom Kissing Scene★★

Swapno Nidhi said...

per day earn 1000$ so visit here

Irani Sexy Housewife Rubbing Her Hairy Pussy

Cute Sweet babe hardcore Fuck By her House Teacher

Really earn huge money form there

Enjoy your life with real money

Just Amazing Collection of Young Wife with her husband at 1st Honeymoon Night

Desi indian naughty wife oilly pussy and hot young ass

Young Indian Teen Girl Posing Nude Showing Shaved Pussy

Pakistani slut getting fucked by condom covered dick

hollywood sexy hot nude fuck sex porn xxx

Xxx 22 Jade Jantzen Rich Arab Girl nude porn

free download xxx Indonesia and Japans sex videos

This Month New 27 Indian Home Made Sex Video Collection

Hot Kate Upton hardy sexy xxx

Hot Arabian Sex Videos Young Girls (18+)