Friday, September 6, 2013

Bitch of the Week: Anderson Cooper

We should all be as lucky as that sloth.

The news can be boring as all fuck. However, give me a news anchor who's equal parts attractive and sassy, and I'm set. That recipe manifests itself in Anderson Cooper, this week's silver fox BoW. As the host of CNN's Anderson Cooper 360, the Coop reports important world news. But most importantly, he looks good doing it. In the daytime, he shows off his less serious side on his talk show, Anderson Live. And he looks good doing that, too.

To understand what makes Anderson such a good bitch, we must look at his past. Firstly, he's a Vanderbilt, which means he has money honey. Secondly, he was a child model, which means he was always beautiful. Thirdly, he's gay, and it's nice to have people like him on the team to balance out Boy George. (Anderson is so gay he provided a voice over narration for the Broadway show How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.)

Since coming out of the closet last year, Anderson has been considerably more fun and therefore a better bitch. He frequently teams up with the likes of Kathy Griffin and Kelly Ripa for barrels of laughs, talks about his love for The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and calls out celebrities and other public figures on their bullshit during the Ridicu-list. Most deliciously, he's been linked to fellow bitch Andy Cohen, mostly because of the Instagrams below.


What a power couple they would make! Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like they're actually together. By we can dream, can't we?

There's honestly no part about Anderson that isn't perfectly bitchy. Even his name is the pinnacle of bitchery!


Madeleine Wills said...


Taylor said...

I am gonna have to show my mom this!