Thursday, September 5, 2013

Throwback Thursday: Tommy Picks the Best of Britney, Part 3

Watch your finger, boy. You might get burned.

While I we eagerly await the commencement of Britney's new musical era, I'll continue to celebrate the Queen of Pop and all her glory. And what better way than to throw it back to her previous feats? You may recall that I previously selected her top ten singles, and then her top ten non-single songs. What more could I do, you ask?

Well, you're forgetting about the bonus tracks! Whether it's a deluxe edition or an international release, all of Britney's albums have additional songs that don't make the standard cut. It's criminal, really, because a lot of these songs are better than her biggest hits but go unnoticed by the masses. And this list will hopefully remedy that!

10. "Get Back"
"Catch me if you can, don't move too slow," Britney teases flawlessly as she slays your entire life. Continuing the amazingness that is Blackout, "Get Back" was only available on the Japanese edition of the album, and damn are they lucky, because this is a true smash. It's all about inviting a guy to the dance floor, but warning him that if he can't take the heat, he needa step the fuck off.

9. "Don't Hang Up"
One of several Britney songs about phone sex (yes, there are multiple), "Don't Hang Up" seems out of place on In the Zone upon first listen. It sounds sweet, like something Brit would've sang back in her pigtail days; it's not as overtly sexual as, say, "Breath On Me". But with lyrics like, "Pillow is all I have to hold... Without you, I still wanna take you there" and "Don't hang up 'til I'm finished with you," it's clear this international bonus track is naughtier than it lets on.

8. "Quicksand"
It almost sickens me to include this song on the list, as it was written by Lady Gaga. But "Quicksand" is a rare occasion when a post-breakdown Britney sings about emotion rather than sex. In the song, Britney vows to hold on to her significant other, even thought they're "sinking like quicksand." Holler to European iTunes users who were blessed with this song on their Circus downloads.

7. "Before the Goodbye"
Have you ever heard of a dance ballad? Me either, until Selena Gomez's "A Year Without Rain" was described as such. A dance ballad is exactly what it sounds like, and "Before the Goodbye", off of the Spain release of Britney, is the perfect example. Lyrically, the song is about an emotionally absent lover. Ignore the words and you have a fun dance beat perfect for the clubs!

6. "Selfish"
The deluxe edition of Femme Fatale was literally the best thing to happen to humanity in 2011. A jam-packed album extended by four new tracks? Fucking holler. On "Selfish", Britney makes her lover her bitch because tonight is all about her. "Boom boom, baby, pick you up in my Mercedes," she sings iconically and everybody who owns a Mercedes shits themselves with excitement.

5. "Walk On By"
Remember when Britney was still innocent enough to sing about angels? "Walk On By", taken from the UK special edition of Oops!... I Did It Again, is a little over the top, as Britney says her boy toy's face reminds her "of a higher place" and "angels cry" every time he walks on by, but just TRY to listen to this and not say, "Aww! Baby Britney!"

4. "Autumn Goodbye"
Anyone who says Britney can't sing needs to listen to songs like "Autumn Goodbye" and get a fucking reality check. True, Britney rarely pushes her vocal limits these days, but girlfriend was only 15 when she recorded this song, and that kind of talent never goes away. The ...Baby One More Time Japanese bonus track is all about the end of summer love, and it's definitely a highlight in Britney's career in my opinion.

3. "I Run Away"
This lists seems to suggest that Britney delegates heartbreak to foreign releases, and the trend continues with "I Run Away", an exclusive track from the Spain release of Britney. It's another dance ballad, but this time Britney sings about a lover who suddenly leaves her. "Let's pretend that I moved on/And I'll tell myself that life goes on without you," she cries. Whoever would break up with Britney is a fucking idiot.

2. "Amnesia"
Fans in the UK were treated to this Circus treat. "Amnesia" tells the story about a girl getting tongue-tied in the midst of a major hottie, and totally forgetting she's already taken. But she likes the new guy better, so she's just gonna tell her man "he should just effin' go." #PREACH Britney deserves nothing but the best.

1. "He About to Lose Me"
This Femme Fatale deluxe edition track continues the vague theme of adultery. Not only is "He About to Lose Me" one of my favorite songs on the album, but it's one of my favorite Britney songs period. It's all about flirting with the temptation to cheat on a withdrawn boyfriend. In this version, Britney chooses to remain faithful. #OnThatFidelityGrind


BAM! What a flawless list, tbqfh. I hope this list implores you to explore your favorite artist's catalog. You'd be amazed what songs are out there that you probably don't know about, and you might discover a new life jam.

But Britney > your fave. Sorry.

1 comment:

Taylor said...

Love how Selena is mentioned!