Jam of the Year
It's no surprise that One Direction takes home the title, but it's puzzling that their new singles "Best Song Ever" and "Story of My Life", which were both nominated, were beat out by this album cut. Still, "Rock Me" is an epic and timeless jam full of thinly-veiled sexual innuendos. Doing us
dirty proud, boys!
Cunt of the Year
Lady Gaga is, without a doubt, the biggest cunt in the music industry. Thankfully, you all recognized it. Together, we saw through the elaborate makeup, meat dresses, and equality anthems and saw this mediocre song-stealer for what she truly is. May all of Artpop's commercial and critical shortcomings haunt Lady Gag-me for all eternity.
Bitch of the Year
It's with an almost prohibitive reluctance that I thrust this honorable title among Jennifer Lawrence. As the comments on her Bitch of the Week post indicate, many readers fail to understand that the title is a sacred and celebratory one. Thus, I have no idea how those who voted for JLaw actually feel about her. That issue aside, Jennifer's saucy attitude and legend-in-the-making status are more than enough to secure the title. Well done!
And now, just for the sake of nostalgia, here are the most-viewed Tommy Time posts from 2013.
- Where Are They Now?: Christy Carlson Romano
- 20 Things You Didn't Know About Beverly Hills, 90210
- Cunt of the Week: Justin Bieber
- Bitch of the Week: Jennifer Lawrence
- 20 Things You Didn't Know About Friends
- Where Are They Now?: Lalaine
- Bitch of the Week: Daisy Duck
- Demi Lovato: Not a Cunt, Not Yet a Bitch
- This or That: Selena Gomez vs. Demi Lovato
- Go Call the Po-Lice! Go Call the Guv-uh-nuh! BRITNEY IS BACK TO WORK, BITCH!!!