Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Cunt of the Week: Farrah Abraham

Mom of the Year!

The reigning Cunt of the Week is none other than Farrah Abraham. If you're not familiar with her, you're at least familiar, or have heard of, the world she comes from. Farrah rose to prominence as a "star" of the reality TV series 16 and Pregnant and its subsequent spin-off Teen Mom.

At first, she was one of the more normal girls on the show. She seemed sweet, and her pregnancy seemed like an honest mistake; and not only did her abusive mother deny her an abortion, but her boyfriend and the father of her child died in a car accident eight months into her pregnancy. She even tried to do the right thing and go to culinary school. You couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

Then it all fell apart when her reality as a teen mom was overshadowed by her reality as, well, a reality star.

In August 2012, she released a memoir and a debut album, both titled My Teenage Dream Ended. What else ended? Teen Mom that same year. Girlfriend was in serious need of a new gig. That came in the form of a sex tape the following year.

Farrah tried to claim the tape was for personal use. The problem? Her partner on the tape was well-known porn star James Deen, who claimed that Farrah hired him to do the tape and even tried to convince him to pretend to date her. Farrah slammed James and called him a liar, but eventually admitted to having purposely leaked the tape. She said it was "[celebrating] your awesome body [and getting] your own sexy shots."

Mmhmm.

Two separate tapes were released by Vivid Entertainment. Farrah then went and made a career out of appearing at porn conventions and strip clubs, but later claimed that the sex tape ruined her life.

Um, yeah, and probably your daughter's!

Since then, she's gotten back into music, which is just a hobby, guys. She swears it's not a career move! She's also writing a trilogy of erotic novels because, why not? If her entire career thus far has proved anything, it's that she likes anything having to do with sex, no matter the consequences.

That's how she became the most-searched reality star of 2013. And any time you take out a Kardashian like that, you best believe you're ending up on the Cunt of the Week list.

Still need convincing? Here are some quotes from the teen mom:
  • On waxing her toddler daughter's eyebrows while she's sleeping: "I actually get a lot of fan mail from girls who were younger who did have unibrows and they only wished that their moms would have helped them out."
  • "This is a weird position. It's like how I gave birth to my daughter."
  • When confronted with the word elaborate: "A library?"
  • On being a feminist (I kid you not, this was her response to being asked if she was a feminist): "I’m pretty feminine. I think so…What does that mean, you’re a lesbian or something?" 
  • On her DUI: "I was drinking throughout the night but I was just getting drinks from friends and I was not really trying to drink."
  • Also on her DUI: "I did not endanger anyone's life."
  • On sex tape co-star James Deen: "I don't need to talk negatively about someone because I have nothing good to say. He should really just get out of the porn industry because things have gotten to his head, he disrespects women, and his penis is small. I haven't seen many but his definitely was not big."
  • On being a single mother but also a businesswoman: "I'm probably one of the best parents you're ever gonna meet. So I learn how to balance this. I feel like if I can't show my true self, and if I can't explore who I am, then it would be lying to myself and I would stunt my growth. So if I feel like opening up a restaurant, opening up a gentlemen's club, opening up a children's clothing store, and doing songs, books, everything that I feel like doing, I'm going to do it. It suits me well. That's who I am."
Also, if you're worried about Farrah's financials, feel free to buy her something from her Amazon wish list. She's asking all her fans to do so!

4 comments:

Taylor Tanton said...

This is great!

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