Tuesday, June 24, 2014

This or That: Paris Hilton vs. Kim Kardashian

Gettin' #turnt

Onetime friends and lifelong frenemies Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian have a lot of things in common. For one, they're both famous for being famous celebrated for just being themselves! Ever since Kim's family became reality royalty, she and Princess Paris have been constantly compared to one another. I've already touched upon their friendship while discussing the Cult of the Frenemy, but now it's time to decide just who's the better socialite.

Childhood (aka $$$)

Paris had a bitchin childhood, being carted around to various Hilton suites and boarding schools on both coasts. She was rolling in the dough and grew up with a bunch of friends who would eventually become famous as well. (Nicole Richie says hi!) Kim had a more traditional upbringing, and while she was not exactly slumming it in Calabasas, she wasn't as massively wealthy (we've all seen the house that family lived in at the beginning of the show!) as Paris and had few to no famous friends. This round goes to Paris!

Famous For...

I know what you're gonna say here. Both of these ladies are famous for their respective sex tapes. But did you know they had names for themselves before that?

Paris began modeling at charity events at age 19 before she was eventually signed to Donald Trump's modeling agency, because who knew that was a thing? She started appearing on fashion magazine covers, and soon after in gossip columns for her hard partying ways. Of course, it really was The Simple Life, her reality show co-starring Nicole Richie, that put her on the map. And why was the show so successful? Her sex tape, 1 Night in Paris, which was "never intended for release," just so happened to have leaked right before the show premiered.

While Kim's father made a name for himself (more on that later), she got most of her media exposure through her friendship with Paris. She was a personal shopper and stylist for several A-list stars, but it was Paris who decided to trot Kim out onto the red carpet. That was probably her biggest mistake, because when Kim's sex tape leaked in early 2007, everyone forgot she was Paris' friend. E! quickly offered her a reality show and the rest is history. Because Kim got to where she was by riding on Paris' coattails and having an "anything you can do, I can do better" attitude, this round goes to Kim!

Strength in Numbers

It's always best to have an army behind you when you're in the spotlight. We've already discussed how Paris had more famous friends than Kim, but what about their family? Paris has Nicky, but as we mentioned oh so long ago, she's the other sister, and that's never good enough. She also has two nameless brothers who don't get her anywhere. And I guess you can count her two "actress" aunts (aka washed-up Real Housewives stars), but I don't.

Kim, on the other hand, has a laundry list of famous kin. Her father is Robert Kardashian, OJ Simpson's lawyer (we'll just leave that one alone), and her stepfather is Olympian Bruce Jenner. Through their reality show, mother Kris, brother Rob, and sisters Kourtney and Khloé also became famous. Not to mention, Kim's stepbrother is The Hills star Brody Jenner. Clearly, Kim wins this round!

Reality Queens

Who has the better reality show? The Simple Life is obviously iconic, as it showcased Paris and Nicole trying to live like normal Americans, usually to unsuccessful but hilarious results. Keeping Up With the Kardashians is more of a ~*documentary*~ series that shows the daily lives of the fam. It's both funny and, at times, dramatic. Both shows are great, but the Kardashians get props for not making it so obvious that the show is scripted, as well as for their countless spin-offs. Paris has had a few reality shows after The Simple Life, but nobody remembers what they are. Take it home, Kim!

Other Ventures

Between clothing lines, perfumes, and attempted acting gigs, Paris and Kim kind of cancel each other out here. But what about music? Kim's "Jam" was the very first Jam of the Week on Tommy Time. But Paris managed to record an entire album that actually received mixed reviews (versus the universal pan that Kim's single received). This round goes to Paris!

Personal Lives

Being a professional socialite basically means that you're only as interesting as your personal life. Paris Hilton's dating life is full of a bunch of nobodies (literally don't know their names) and B-listers (Nick Carter). I've never agreed with Kim K's dating choices (Nick Cannon... Seriously?), and she did have that whole 72-day marriage thing, but she's happily married with a baby without the substance abuse rumors and arrests Paris has accumulated. As if I had to say it, this round goes to Kim!

So, it's clear Kim is the better socialite. And Paris can't even be mad, because she invented the game, and Kim just played it better. You go, girl!

Friends till the end.


Taylor Tanton said...

Where is Paris now?

Anonymous said...

Don't write about hobbits. They aren't interesting.

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